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For about a month now I have been living in Ukraine. I left America to visit my family in Europe as well as work on a couple of projects. One of them was to launch this website as an outlet to connect with other writers to publish more personalized and relatable stories about wartime Ukraine.
Since back home in the States I’m usually the person who throws a public event for Ukrainian independence day, I really was hoping to launch my first public article today, on July 4. But that’s where my celebration of my country’s Independence day ends, as it would be disgraceful for me to celebrate such an international disgrace.
Dont get me wrong, I love my country. And I wont hide it, I felt a little pride when the skies above me were protected by the US-provided patriot missile in action during a russian strike in Kyiv from the place I was staying at the time in downtown Kyiv…..
It’s just that I had bigger expectations for America than our leaders who’s distortion of “America First” values actually keeps us the leader of the free world.
Growing up nearby NYC, I saw the Twin Towers go down when I was a kid. I felt that Patriotism reverberate from the center of my state throughout my entire country, and the world. In the face of attacks, America became a symbol of global freedoms. Not only flags were everywhere but a certain national spirit to protect our people.
While those memories hold a special place in my heart, those days are long gone now in America, and with it went our nation’s pursuit for global freedoms.
But not for all of us. There are guys like Ryan O’Leary, who fought for America and in other foreign wars and now in Ukraine, and who yesterday just lost another American brother, Dan, who was fighting in Ukraine.
Since being here, I strongly feel that Kyiv has become the global capitol of freedom. There is a certain spirit everywhere here that I have to search for back home to find. A spirit that is dead, sleeping, on autopilot or just…never existed in the first place.
In Ukraine, after nearing four years of russia’s fullscale invasion, that spirit hasn’t died. When russia attacks us, people will go out into the public the next day, talk to eachother and do a check-in, “how was you’re night?”.
The day after I saw the Patriot missile go off, a man who works at a barista at a local coffee shop told me a story of how his girlfriend’s neighbor never shelters, but they sheltered that night and their apartment was obliterated by Iranian-provided Shaheds.
“That’s God”. I said.
He told me, “Today is like their birthday”.
As a politically-minded individual, even between bombings, I am more comfortable in Kyiv than in my own city, in my own nation’s political capitol of DC, because of how infected with russian propaganda our American politics and media has become.
But I know that it’s not what most American people really believe. I talk to most people, and most people support Ukraine and want to defeat russia. Just recently there was poll conducted by my friends with Peace Through Strength Institute (PTSI) which states an overwhelming three-quarters of Americans say the war in Ukraine should be a U.S. priority.
Our people are being misrepresented , our allies being betrayed.
It brings me such shame to be an American in the heart of Kyiv on this day, when just days ago we halted critical military aid for vague reasons that none of our administrators are even aligned upon?
A move which today was revealed to be based on absolute mistruths and lies….
To put into perspective… the US has provided only 8 patriots to Ukraine out of 1106 in stock.
Yet only one week after Trump promised to send Ukraine more Patriot missiles, the US made the decision to hold up weapons at the Polish border: 92 AIM-7 Sparrow missiles, 30 PAC-3 MSEs, 8496 155mm rounds, 142 AGM-114 Hellfire missiles, 252 GMLRS, 25 Stinger missiles, and 125 AT-4 recoilless anti-tank guns sitting in Poland, collecting dust, waiting to get sent to Ukrainian soldiers. https://x.com/ColbyBadhwar/status/1940504770516791653
The “free” country that for 200+ years our US veterans fought and died for in many foreign wars, no longer stands for global freedom on the world stage. This cold reality remains every day we do not ship additional patriots to Ukraine.
American Independence day used to be my favorite holiday. Honestly, I am that woman who throws a big party and has the fireworks, the beer, cookout, friends, and family. But since 2022, my family stopped celebrating like we used to.
And back in the states my young son who is only a little boy had made this adorable Patriotic hat. (My kids are such good patriotic Ukrainian Americans, they get excited at the sight of anything blue and yellow just as much as they love spotting the American flag).
And I was so happy for him and praised him… and my oldest daughter was making plans to celebrate the fourth.
But deep down I felt like I was holding a dark secret, like a lie. Like Santa Claus isn’t real, but far, far sicker and profoundly more demented.
This is not just a question of my country’s politics. This is the question of the beginnings of the end of the free world as we know it.
As we unravel the shrouds that cover the truth, who will be at the core of nation? Our own body politic? Or the incubus of our enemy?
I cannot un-know what I know. And I know we could send Ukraine more weapons to defend it’s people against russia’s brutal attacks such as the one suffered by Kyiv last night….
I have a responsibility to my sons and daughters and to the next generation to do all I can to stop this war today. Not just because I’m in a Ukrainian family. But because I am an American………………..
-Alexandra Zakhvatayev
Kyiv Free Press 
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